Two buttery, made-from-scratch biscuits. Two crispy, greasy bacon strips. Two fat, spicy breakfast sausage patties. Unbelievably fresh jam, hand-mashed from strawberries grown in the back yard one day before. At least 1000 calories of sheer deliciousness sat on the plate in front of me, not including the massive pound cake with extra egg to make it even gooey-er sitting on the shelf five feet away, the homemade hot apple pie caked with cinnamon and crumb topping on the counter next to me, or the full-to-the-brim cookie jar containing huge, under-baked, scratch chocolate chip cookies right by it. Only at my great grandmother’s house can I come in from an awakening morning run to such an overwhelming aroma. I fought hard against my desire to go back to sleep to go on that run. I paced around the guest room in an out-loud debate with myself and scowled as I put on my tennis shoes. I almost died breathing that thick, humid, summer Florida air and almost got lost because I ran so far. When I came in to all of those glorious smells, I literally said, “crap” and rolled my eyes. All of that was for nothing. One day off, I told myself. Just one won’t hurt.
And it didn’t—the next morning my dad about ran me into the ground doing one of his workouts, and it’s not like I’m one of those psycho freaks that can’t eat junk food and has to exercise every day... I’m a college kid... I’m not even close—but I’ve been on this big health kick for a few weeks now, and it’s not because I’m trying to lose weight or something by any means, but it’s because I’m trying to learn how to captivate my mind. I know that sounds crazy. I mean, what does controlling your body have to do with controlling your mind? It’s actually the exact same thing. I’ve heard miracle stories about people quitting smoking in a day, and if a physical addiction to nicotine can be put to rest, God can certainly help me get over my mental temptations and make me run a faster mile. I take it as no accident that the Bible mentions controlling your body and your mind so closely together:
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2
I’m correlating my recent lack of motivation to become a stronger Christian with my lack of motivation to move or do anything useful, really. I guess I’m trying to conquer my addiction to laziness along with my subconscious addiction to thinking about things that are harmful to me. Whether it be dwelling on what has been, what could have been, what I can’t have, what I want but I shouldn’t, the easy way out, the wide and curvy instead of the straight and narrow... my mind would much rather focus on things other than what God wants for me. Following the will of God is always a fight, but I know that renewing how I think and therefore how I feel will help me grasp it. I’m trying to think new thoughts about old things, because if I keep thinking the way I am, nothing will change. It’s hard for me to tell other people no, much more myself. I’m taking over a month off Facebook, I’m trying desperately to rekindle my desire for reading Scripture daily, I’m intentionally planning things with people I need to focus more on and drifting from those I need to detach from, I’ve cut out all non-Christian music from my life, I’m running or working out almost every day, and, most importantly, I’m praying all the time. I don’t think God calls us to do anything halfway, especially when we are surrounded with as much temptation as we are, so I’m trying to be a little drastic. I think Matthew 7:15-20 talks about bearing good fruit from the mind, and that’s worth it to me. Maybe my actions will change my mind which will change both my actions and my heart.
A big help has been memorizing this:
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13
My faithful and jealous God is always, always reaching out for me, but I need to reach back. So when you hear me complain about being sore, know that’s all I’m really trying to do.
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| Breakfast at Great Memaw's. :) |
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