Tschuessi, Deutschland!

As you read this, I’m already home, but I’m writing it as I’m sitting in Berlin-Tegel Airport waiting on my flight. And this whole stinking country doesn’t believe in air conditioning. Just saying.

But now for the as I’m sitting in this little cafe, trying to remember all the crazy things that have gone on over the last ten weeks, I’m realizing that a lot has changed this summer. I’ve known people from my high school that have died, seen wedding pictures on facebook of at least seven people my age, watched grievingly from a distance as sin corrupted families, and have been blessed myself in hearing about God using His children to further His Kingdom. I’ve seen the effects of communism first hand and touched the Berlin wall. I’ve gone on a jog alone the Rhine River, seen the biggest fireworks show in the world, and become practically fluent in another language. Travel has become stressless to me. I mean, when you take at least 5 subway trains or buses a day and travelled internationally by yourself, that happens. My English grammar has become a struggle, but I wrote a 600 word German paper in 24 hours last week. I’ve gone to a public viewing of a German soccer game and had beer dumped on me when they scored. I’ve lived as an exchange student with a foreign family and gotten totally and completely lost in the city, ridden a Harry Potter-style train across the European countryside, seen more castles and cathedrals and museums than I will ever be able to count, celebrated the 4th of July with Germans, bought traditional German clothing, finished my first ever German book for leisure, and sat in a chair in the German Parliament room in the capital in Berlin. People have tested me to no end. I’ve slept little and eaten a lottttttt. I’ve been snapped at, and I have regrettably snapped back. I felt like a snob at a wine tasting. I’ve made friends because I can make a good Chewbacca noise. I got meow-ed at on the subway.

I’ve worn Chacos 63 of the past 70 days.

23 college kids and I shared a house for a month. I pet a goat and a sheep and deciphered German washing machines. I’ve almost broken my back carrying all of my crap a mile through Munich while it was raining at night. I saw an acrobatics show and drank really good beer at a brewery. I’ve laughed until I cried and cried until God made me laugh. I’ve seen drug deals, drug smuggling, drunkenness like never before, that famous European nudity, and too many women without shaved legs. And too many men in skinny pants. I’ve been kicked out of places and invited in. Some days I’ve woken up wanting to just listen to my Jesus music on my iPod, and then realized the music I’m listening to is telling me to take off the earbuds and love the people around me. If I’ve seen one cute puppy, I’ve seen a million. And taken several creeper pictures of them. I’ve gone through countless antibacterial wipes and conquered a hearty German cold with lots of German medicine. I’ve taken 7 German exams and toured companies like Siemens, Mercedes, and Deutsche Bahn. I’ve run a mile in a business suit in the rain while sick. God sent me an angel in my host mom when she showed up out of nowhere when I was lost. I’ve gone on a run down Karl Marx Allee, where the Nazis hosted many major parades. I’ve started eating broccoli and spinach (that’s right, Mom). God has called me to my knees in prayer several times. I wrote computer code to edit a photo (yep, Georgia Tech student). I spilled water on my laptop and let it sit in pounds of rice for a few days. I’ve taken over 2,000 pictures. I just had to pay 50 Euros because one of my carry-ons was overweight. I’ve never even had a carry-on weighed before. I’ve been judged and have wrongly judged. I’ve lost some desires and thirsted for much. This trip has served as a wonderful means to ridding me of infatuation with things back home. Right now I’m looking at an old couple fall asleep as they eat at their breakfast table. One time I sleep talked in German. My roommate thought it was hilarious. I’ve learned how to stay awake during boring lectures like a champ. And mastered the head bob. I’ve picked up on a lot of the mannerisms of people around me. I’ve learned that I need to pray more for God to make me hate the sin in this world, like sexual media and saying GD and pride. I’ve realized that God has been so so so so so faithful in calling me to go to the Word every single day and giving me someone on this trip to remind me to do so, because it would be unbelievably easy not to. 

And I think the most important thing is that it is by being away from everything I know that I’ve learned that God has been, is, and will be the only thing to ever satisfy me. Food will not make me full. A relationship will not make me content. Sisterhood will not fully encourage me. The Word can’t speak without Him in it. Being a smart-alic will not make me feel better. Yelling at someone won’t take away my anger. Money won’t get me what I want. Sleep won’t make it all better in the morning. I won’t be more confident if I’m skinnier. Talking about someone behind their back won’t make me look better than them. Letting people know I’m smart or have done good things won’t satisfy my thirst for glory. (Jeremiah 9:23-24: Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord.)

I am not only with God when I am comfortable. In fact, I think I feel more in His presence when I’m not.

And sure, that’s in Scripture a few times. But when the Word comes to light in your life, God is being glorified through you. And there is nothing-- nothing-- more satisfying than that. 

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I’m really grateful for this summer. :) And I pray that God would continue to show me how awesome He is through it and mold me from it. One of the biggest blessings was something my wonderful best friend Melissa facebook messaged me a few weeks ago: “The gospel means that you love people and show people Jesus even when you don’t want to or they don’t deserve it or don’t return it. That’s what He did and that’s what we’re supposed to do.” So as for prayer requests for me, pray that I would have the Spirit and the energy and love for other people to pour into them even- or especially- when I don’t want to. And I pray that for the Kingdom as well. :) And pray that we would all see the abundance of love the God showers us with every single day, and especially through the cross.

Whoever you are, I can’t wait to see you when I get home! Because that means I’ll be in the land of sweet tea and air conditioning and southern accents. ‘MURRICA

(Sorry there's no pictures in this one. It would take a long time since they'd have to cover all of Berlin!)

clear the stage

So this song has been, or needs to be, a big deal for me lately. Just thought I'd share really quick. :)

faith like a child

I can’t believe how time is flying! So much to share... We left Weimar on the 5th and headed to Munich, where we were for 6 days. I’m writing this as I’m on the 7 hour train ride to Berlin. Weimar ended with two final exams and a final presentation, all in German, and a huge 4th of July party. We had a cookout and tons of decorations and invited several of our German friends. Charlotte and I made about 100 chocolate chip cookies and brownies from scratch for the occasion, and most of the Germans had no idea what those were. Explaining that in German wasn’t easy.

Side note... I’m noticing that writing in English is getting harder to do, and the grammar is simpler. Charlotte told me the other night I sleep talked in German. :/ I also just finished reading my first entire book in German! It was a book called “Heaven Is for Real,” just translated.

Here’s some photos from the end of Weimar.

We went to Buchenwald Concentration Camp. I went to Dachau last summer, and that was not an experience I wanted to repeat, but it never hurts to be humbled.

4th of July party!

And then there’s Munich. We didn’t have class there, but let me tell you... we were marathon tourists. Keep in mind there’s hundreds more than what I put on this blog! Here’s some photos and descriptions:

We toured Siemens. This would be an incredible place to work!

Random photos of Munich:

The Deutsches Museum was as awesome of all of the Smithsonians combined. I kid you not. I’ve never imagined a place with a rocket, dozens of airplanes, a submarine, and several ships (not boats, ships) all under one roof. There were about a dozen exhibits, including nautical navigation, steam engines, electrical power, German flight, printing presses, book binding, technical toys, glass making, ceramic science, paper making, and an entire floor for astronautics and the space race. I was only in there for about 3 hours, but it could’ve taken days.

Brewery tour! Can’t say having the “tasting” in the middle of the tour was a good idea... but hey, it was fun.

Alte Pinothek Art Museum. This place was unbelievably enormous.

Complete and total glutton on German food. 25 people easily ate enough for 75... when Dr. Cothran is buying, you go big or go home.

Tour of Grenzebach. 

We took a day trip to Augsburg, a city that is over 2000 years old. This is the inside of the Rathaus (Goldenen Saal- over a ton of gold in here) and the door that I think Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to. It was definitely this church, and this door was gated off.

Neue Pinothek Art Museum. I post this picture to subtly display my hate for modern art. It's a white canvas.

BMW Welt (world) is a synonym for Drool World.

The other day, I had a really awesome Jesus moment. For a long time, as I’ve mentioned, I’ve really been struggling with figuring out why so much sin is totally rampant in this world. And I see it in my own life as well, and it seemed like no matter how much I prayed and read, I couldn’t shake it off. But what changed recently was that around the time we headed to Munich, I let those things begin to shape my view of God.  One can always wonder why He allows us to be so awful and selfish, and in turn begin to question one’s salvation, but until then I think I just trusted that He had His reasons. But then I was like... how is that a God of love? And I got frustrated with myself for even asking that, because His love is more rampant than sin could ever be. At first I didn’t know that was the problem, but one morning, I woke up and had this amazing thought pop into my head as soon as I opened my eyes- “The world does not define God, but Who God is defines the world.” I can say in all honestly that that thought did not come from myself. And through a combination of reading that amazing book I mentioned above, reading Hosea and Philippians, praying, downloading some new Hillsong worship music, watching some sermons online, and the Holy Spirit, I have been blessed with so much faith. But He won’t let me forget... Ephesians 2:8-9.

And another thing is that God is definitely showing me that people and situations and the world are never, ever, ever to be looked to for satisfaction or stability. You will go hungry if you seek happiness there, although God may bless you with encouragement through them sometimes. Let me elaborate. First, everyone here is getting really tired of each other. I’ve had a couple of people snap at me a couple of times as I’m being completely kind to them. I’ve seen arguments and wrath quite enough. And on the other hand, I have found myself giving into my flesh in responding similarly. We’re all tired, and satan loves tired and lazy people. Secondly, it seems like several people back home are struggling a lot. I have heard of more people dying this summer than I have in a while, and there’s family brokenness and spiritual dryness and defeat... everywhere. It breaks my heart that I can’t be home to love on people- yeah, I’ve cried about that specifically- but at the same time, I’m learning more and more about the reasons why God sent me here for the summer. I’ll elaborate on that long list on my flight home to the States, maybe. :) Moral of the story: More sin (causing more pain) = more need for Jesus. More need for Jesus = more power of Jesus displayed. More power of Jesus displayed = more faith from His children. That’s how it should be. And we shouldn’t mess that up by missing the truth that with faith comes the overflowing desire to obey.

Speaking of faith, I had another Jesus moment a few weeks ago in Weimar that I just remembered. I came up to my room because I really needed to read my Bible before I went out and faced my group again. The big windows were open because it was a pretty day, and as I was reading in the breeze and silence, I suddenly heard a child outside laughing their head off. It was incredible- the cutest, bubbliest chuckle from probably a toddler. I couldn’t see them. And another random thought came to my head, completely Holy Spirit induced:

People were also bringing babies to Jesus for him to place his hands on them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

Luke 18:15-17

Children run open-armed and fearless. Once they are told who to trust, they do it with no hesitation. And children seem to know what is good. They run from evil, like the monster in the dark or giant spider under their beds, without wondering if it could be fun to play with. They also don’t abide by the rules of social hierarchy, as displayed by this verse in how the children run to Christ despite the disciples’ objection. Yes, the King is worthy of all reverence, and in His presence we are to be so humble as to put our heads to the ground in a bow, but He is not just a normal King. He is a King Who wants to embrace us and make us laugh and smile. Sometimes I become so caught up in trying to put God into my reality box (seeing how He fits into my life and the world) and confusing myself terribly in doing so, that I forget that what really happens is that the world fits into Him. Faith like a child comes with rejoicing in the fact that you are not going to know everything- not even close- not even if you get to go to Heaven- because you are so intimately wrapped up in His goodness that the world simply falls away. Children focus on one thing at a time.

And now to Berlin, which might be the death of me. I read through the whopping 11-page syllabus the other night (mind you, we only have 12 days of class), and realized that sitting and sleeping will be two non-existent words for the next two and a half weeks until home on the 28th. The class is structured around a huge project. We get into groups of 3 and choose a famous Berlin monument or location and write a 1000-word essay, make a presentation, and a 5-minute video over it. I’m pretty sure my group is doing ours on the Berlin Zoo (I picked it because we are required to take several trips to our location of choice :D ). We also have a final exam and lectures over Berlin history in the 20th century. I’m really excited to learn all of it, but I’m interested to see how we master all of that AND go see museums and take tours every day after class.

Auf jetzt, y’all!

love covers

"The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."

1 Peter 4:7-11

Wow, I don’t even know where to start! I honestly can’t remember what I did at the end of last week. It’s been that crazy. A group of eight of us left for Prague last Thursday evening and came back late Sunday night, Harry Potter train ride style again. The city was incredibly beautiful, but no doubt the most tourist-y place I have ever been. We probably walked about 15 miles (at least). We saw everything Europe’s largest ancient castle to the stunning countryside of the Czeck Republic to a public viewing of a Germany soccer game in the old town square with hundreds of our closest drunk soccer fans. Ya know, it’s always been one of my life dreams to have beer poured on me every time we scored a goal.. four sticky, smelly goals. We stayed in a hostel that was a lot like the one I stayed in London last year. The other girl in our group of eight, Heather, and I, stayed in one hostel and the boys in another because we booked ours late. But it turns out ours was nicer. :) For those of you who don’t know what a hostel really is, it’s basically public living mixed with a hotel. Heather and I were in an 8-person co-ed room with bunk beds (always interesting). In the rooms were lockers for us to keep our stuff. There were hall showers and bathrooms, similar to a freshman dorm at Tech. The most adventurous part of the weekend was easily at 10:30pm Thursday night when Heather and I were trying to find the hostel from the train station... Mom, for the sake of your sanity as you read this, let’s just say the directions we had were a little vague, Prague is a little more like Amsterdam at night, and I’m really grateful Heather speaks some Russian and that God kept us safe. I’ve learned a valuable lesson for sure. :) Best part of the trip? I GOT MEXICAN FOOD!

Here’s some photos from the weekend! There are soooooooo many more on Facebook.

Main shopping drag:

 St. Charles Bridge and Prague Castle (up on the hill):

 From the castle:

 St. Charles Bridge:

 From the monastery:

 KGB Museum... don't I look like a Russian spy?

Back in Deutschland, we went to Kahla, a massive porcelain company yesterday (Monday). I have a new found love affair with dishes. I’m not kidding. And we went to a chocolate store that was the size of a supermarket... the chocolate was cheap and they had a bazillion free samples. Needless to say, I think I know what trying ecstacy is like now. Also we hiked up to Leuchtenburg, a small castle. The view from the top was incredible.

CHOCOLATE!

 Charlotte and I at the castle. She's the best!

 From the castle:

Spiritually, I’ve got a whole lot going on. I’ll try to keep it short.

1. There’s something along the lines of the black plague going around our group, and I’ve gotten a hold of it. Thank goodness the only part I got was a cough, but it’s not doing so well. With all the things I’m doing to help it, it’s only a matter of time and rest until I get better. But what I’m learning from it (I was taught mostly by my wonderful dad to take note of what you learn from every situation- hi dad :) ) is that it shouldn’t affect my attitude. I’ve mentioned before that I seriously need to be a light to the people around me here, and I can’t get cranky like I normally do when I’m sick. Serving and loving and pouring and giving and abandoning yourself doesn’t have a footnote in the Bible that says, “**only when you feel like it.”
2. For the first time in months, I had the urge to randomly talk to someone about Jesus the other day. And for the first time ever, I acted on it. By “randomly,” I mean it didn’t come up in conversation. I mean I tapped the person on the shoulder and asked. I still don’t know the outcome or if anything happened through it, but I am trusting that God is using it to His glory. He always does. And what’s crazier is that even though I didn’t see an outcome, it made me want to do it more. "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should." Ephesians 6:18-20
3. My biggest struggle right now is coping with the abundance of sin I have been seeing. There is so much brokenness- way more than we think or notice. I always thought there were tons of nonbelievers back home, but then I stepped out of the Bible belt for longer than a couple of days. Prague has the highest concentration of atheists and consumes the most alcohol per capita in the world. Last summer I was plenty exposed to the complete lack of love of Jesus in much of the world, but here I feel even less surrounded by it. That’s probably because I’ve grown to become more aware of sin. I want to run from it. What’s scary is that I can even see satan try to pull me towards it constantly. In a way, that makes me happy, because I know that I’m more of a threat, and I know that the Holy Spirit is in me to make me hate satan. But at the same time, it completely breaks my heart to see SO MANY people falling short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) and not accepting and worshipping a Savior to save their souls from it (Romans 6:23). There are some moments where I want to look up and ask God why He’s letting so many people suffer, whether from misfortune or from their own stupidity and greed. I don’t get it. On the bright side, I’ve been reading my Bible a ton and have been oh so blessed to have Charlotte and a couple others here to talk through my confusion with me. Scripture has been reminding me over and over to keep loving and keep pushing, no matter how disheartened I become. Praise God for the Spirit, and praise God for Jesus, because it is not by works that we are saved, but ONLY because God chooses who follows Him (Ephesians 2:8-9).
4. Prayer requests: Ephesians 6:18-20 and continued diligence in prayer and the Word.

Over halfway home! :)

I can't wait to eat fried chicken.

I think it’s appropriate to write a blog post as I watch my roommate Charlotte use a champagne glass as a measuring cup for making brownies while we both sing to Zac Brown and Lady A. And this was after gathering a dozen of our group’s empty beer bottles from last night’s craziness to go turn them in and get free apple juice for recycling. Weimar has been awesome. Oh, and last night I wrote computer code to manipulate a picture.

I think my favorite favorite part is living with 24 other people in the same house. The bed and breakfast is awesome! It’s a huge, old house that we have all to ourselves. After the first week, Charlotte and I got to move into a bigger room and now we don’t have to share a shower with 6 other people, and our room is pink. It’s kind of a little haven for me, because I can shut the door and there’s a huge window that makes it a great room for reading and just having the alone time I require every day. We even have a little kitchen and mini fridge in our hallway. Unfortunately though, I think some people are starting to get tired of each other. It’s to be expected when we all spend almost every second of every day together. Not to mention the noise... but it’s all good. I’m personally learning a lot about how to put other people before myself, especially in conversation. People let pride slip into conversation far more than they realize, myself included. There’s a part of everyone that wants to be the center of attention and to be applauded. But that’s not the job of a Christian, period. Christians’ lives are also supposed to look drastically different than the lives of those who don’t love Jesus, and it’s difficult to figure out how to not be polluted by the world, but not make the world feel judged. There is so much brokenness here. I’ve heard some of my group’s opinions on God and it breaks my heart. But I don’t know how to tell them about Who He really is without being afraid of messing it up- most people who aren’t in the church have been hurt by it. I’ve come to the conclusion that my best ministry here is going to be showing people Christ, not just talking about Him. Charlotte and I have been talking about this a lot, and I’ve been so blessed to have her and a couple of believers here.

I’ve decided that 1 Peter 4 is my anthem for this trip:

Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because whoever suffers in the body is done with sin. As a result, they do not live the rest of their earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. They are surprised that you do not join them in their reckless, wild living, and they heap abuse on you. But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so that they might be judged according to human standards in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit.

The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with God’s household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And,

“If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
    what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?”

So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

As for what we have been doing.. where to begin?!

Where I get to go on runs. There's a huge, beautiful park across the street from our house.

The Bauhaus University where we have class.

Hedwig-Pfeiffer Haus where we live.

Day trip to Naumburg! Naumburg Cathedral and fancy schmancy wine tasting at Bad Soulza.

Day trip to Erfurt and St. Mary's Cathedral.

Day trip to Eisenach- Schloss Wartburg (castle), Bach's house, and car museum. Martin Luthor translated the New Testament in this castle, and the picture of the desk is where he sat.

Day trip to Leipzig- visit to the American Consulate, a DDR/ Berlin Wall museum, and a classical music concert.

 (Real DDR surveillance- this stuff was really creepy)

Going to Prague next weekend! I'll post again after that!